#sharethelove
Over a decade ago, I was sitting with the senior talent team of a large non-profit discussing staff belonging (we called it staff engagement back then) and retention. We saw year after year some of our best people getting burned out, feeling undervalued, or disconnecting and moving on, putting more pressure on us to invest in recruitment, selection and onboarding. We brainstormed a number of ideas, but one of the simplest, and yet most profound, was a campaign to share-the-love. It helped that it was February, home of Valentine’s Day.* We launched an organizational-wide Valentine’s writing campaign, sending postcards to all our regional offices with suggestions that team members use them to send “love notes” to their teammates. If we were developing our plans now, they probably would have more of a digital element, although getting a hard copy note meant a lot. In fact, I still have some that were given to me.
Now more than ever, we need to be telling our employees and team members that we value them. The Forbes article, Why Having Retention Conversation is Critical in the Current Great Resignation reminds us, “Why do we often wait until the "exit interview" to find out what wasn't working for our top employees in our company culture? To keep our best talent engaged and committed, we need to recognize the value of having regular “stay conversations,” where managers take the time to understand an individual’s interests, wants and needs.” It seems simple, yet, so few organizations have “stay conversations.” What is holding us back?
I suspect, because these conversations are not common, most of our managers and leaders have never been on the receiving end. So let’s break it down.
It all starts with your managers. For years I have heard (and said) that people don’t quit their jobs, they quit their bosses. HBR debunked that myth in Why People Really Quit Their Jobs, it turns out that it is more nuanced, like all things. However, managers do still matter, even if they are not the only reason people stay in organizations. Your managers are the ones to start the conversation. And to do that, they need to be vulnerable, it can be scary to say that you want someone to stick around. And they need to be ready to be open to whatever they hear. Asking someone what would keep them here is much easier if during other conversations the manager is asking how they are and really showing interest. If the relationship feels mostly transactional, we suggest they start small (and now) and work their way up to a conversation where their team member needs to trust them.
Create opportunities for skip level conversations. Even in the best manager/managee relationships, it is good for people to get to know the leadership on their team that does not manage them directly. And it’s really important for leaders to know how everyone on their team is doing. Plus, let’s face it, not every manager/managee relationship is great. Create opportunities for coffees (virtual or in person), group conversations and mentorship for those at skip levels, and focus those interactions on really getting to know people at all levels of your team.
Don’t shy away from feedback. Start with the affirmations. I had a manager that sent the most thoughtful written notes to show appreciation and I still have those too. Tag a staff member on slack recognizing a win, email the person and cc others to share positive feedback. Share constructive feedback as well. As the numbers of resignations kept ticking up this fall, we heard from more and more leaders that they were hesitant to give constructive feedback. People want to be effective in their work (very few people come to work trying to be ineffective) and the best way for them to do that is with their manager’s support and honesty. Feedback and trust are a mutual fulfilling cycle.
Make connections for your people. We have been brainwashed to believe very deeply in scarcity. And that can make it harder to connect a team member with someone in another organization, because what if they recruit your person away? I believe in professional karma. What comes around, goes around. And if you are creating opportunities for your people (even if that means in the short term a loss for you) it will eventually come back to create opportunities for you.
One of my favorite managers scheduled dinners with each of her direct reports a couple times a year to check in. Another favorite manager would send me homemade fudge every winter. I stayed with them because I was learning and growing, I felt valued and I felt like I could contribute. All of that was true because they weren’t afraid to start the conversation. This Valentine’s Day, don’t wait, it’s time to #sharethelove.
* #sharethelove campaign was the brainchild of the TFA, Business Partner team, a team that put people first in everything they did.
